How to Win a Nobel Without Trying
Peace wants a seat at the table. Ego wants a spotlight.
A king without a sword, a land without a king, sings Molly Hatchet. It’s a lyric about absence, power vacuum, and the cost of leadership. But today, we hand out medals before the battle has even begun.
Pakistan announced it wants to nominate Donald Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize. Not for ending a war, exactly, but for maybe making a phone call. India says they never asked. Trump says he saved the day. Pakistan applauds, minus the Pakistanis quietly cringing. It’s like giving Best Supporting Actor to a guy who stumbled onto set, said Nice lighting!, and took home the leftovers.
Trump claims he leaned on trade deals to make it happen. Pakistan applauds his strategic foresight, which India calls fiction. Somewhere between the press release and the golf cart, Trump’s already rehearsing his Nobel speech — typed in all caps, of course, with generous use of the word tremendous.
It’s not about who helped, it’s about who shouted first. Trump’s version of ensuring peace is like karaoke: loud, off-key, and weirdly confident.
Welcome to the era of self-awarded peace. Where a man can back genocide on Monday and win praise for de-escalation by Friday. Where peacemaker is less a title and more a TikTok filter. Where impact is optional, but optics are everything.
Peace has no theme music. No viral moment. It shows up in bad suits, speaks in footnotes, and leaves through the side door. Ego finds that unbearable.
It’s tempting to point fingers at the big egos. But zoom in and the same game’s playing out in miniature: our LinkedIn acrobatics, captioned humility, photo-ready virtue. We’ve all auditioned for applause at some point.
Maybe give Trump his Nobel. Maybe give us all one. But then let’s pause long enough to ask what peace actually requires. Maybe it starts smaller. Not ceasefires, but temper checks. Not global summits, but daily mercies. The hard conversation you don’t dodge. The grudge you quietly retire. The neighbor you listen to instead of labeling.
Give ego the microphone if it helps. But let peace have the room. It knows what to do if we’re humble enough to follow.