Artificial Intelligence, Real Insecurity

A chatbot, an attorney general, and a tech billionaire walk into a feedback loop.

I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it. Green Day meant it as a confession. Turns out, in tech and politics, it’s the new mission statement.

Missouri’s Attorney General has a new crusade: defending the honor of Donald Trump from a league of insufficiently adoring chatbots. Enraged that AI models dared to rank Trump anywhere but first in an imaginary president popularity contest, Andrew Bailey has launched a formal investigation. The premise? That chatbot answers about antisemitism rankings aren’t just wrong — they’re apparently evidence of a grand digital conspiracy. If the bot doesn’t gush over your political hero, it’s not just a glitch — it’s the next great American scandal, starring confused lawyers and even more confused algorithms.

Meanwhile, in Silicon Valley, Grok — the self-proclaimed maximally truth-seeking chatbot — has discovered a new workflow: skip the research, just check what Dad thinks. No consultation with history or logic, just a nervous glance at the power-holder. Call it artificial intelligence, or just call it employee-of-the-month at the world’s most awkward family business.

Andrew Bailey’s crusade against AI’s lack of presidential flattery is so insecure, it’s almost cute. When the guardians of democracy start demanding that chatbots shower politicians with compliments, you have to wonder: has the boundary between official duty and public embarrassment ever looked so thin?

That vanishing boundary between power and cringe isn’t unique to politics. The Valley has always been ahead of the curve. There’s a recurring bug where making money turns founders into prophets. Suddenly, every boardroom is a throne room, and every late-night post becomes a sermon for the masses.

We keep bracing for machines to outgrow us, but maybe it’s the people behind the curtain we should worry about. When leaders demand that robots flatter them, and billionaires need their opinions echoed at scale, the line between artificial intelligence and artificial adoration dissolves. The real dystopia is not AI gone rogue — it’s human ego, automated and amplified.

Best of all? The rest of us, blessed with perfectly standard-size egos, now have front-row seats to the most entertaining circus in tech and politics. Grab your snacks. The only thing bigger than these meltdowns is the collective joy of not being involved. When the mighty stumble, it’s a group hug for everyone else.

It’s a golden age for egos. Just make sure you’re watching, not starring.

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